The Idiots Are Everywhere

So a few weeks ago, working in the quiet confines of my shop, I developed an idiot detector.
A little gadget that you could point at at anyone or any article on the web and find its idiot rating.
Some days the idiot rating meter was off the charts. Other days it seemed a bit more reasonable, but it was constantly going off.
The sensitivity was uncanny. Sometimes the simple act of driving past a car would alert me to the idiot behind the wheel. Other times the phone ringing would bring a high alert.
Then last night I took it apart and realized the electronic idiot detector works just as well if you had inadvertently installed the sensor in it backwards....................
Think on that for a moment.....


The stupid thing was pointed at me the whole time..........

They Don't Understand Me

So this past week at World Dairy Expo, I had the opportunity to discuss the fact that I use Twitter and Facebook on a pretty regular basis. The discussion was had with mostly coworkers.

Most of them don’t get it.

I love them to death, but my fascination with social media and what is possible with it, escapes them.

The topic at large came to a head because rather than watch the Vikings get killed by the Packers with a bunch of cheeseheads from my office, I went to a tweetup.

 That term brought howls of amusement from coworkers.

“What in the world is a tweet-up?”

 When you meet friends from twitter IRL. (In Real Life)

“How do you know when a tweetup is happening?”

Someone organizes it and lets folks know. In this case Eric Danzeisen of Seirra Desert Breeders. Thanks Eric.

“Who is going to be there?”

 Not sure. Don’t know. I’ll report back.

“Any ideas who is going to show up?”

 Probably a dairyman from Montana. @mtdairyman. A semen salesman from California. @funwithbulls. One from AZ. @jverbovineaz. A couple of dairymen from Wisconsin @dairycarrie and @jenabently. A polled bull semen supplier from Ontario. @dairybullsonlin. And the list goes on.

“Who can Show up?”

 If you’re friends of the people in this group, we’d love to meet you.

“How can I get involved?”

 Are you on Twitter?

 “No”

 That would seem to be a good place to start.

“What do you talk about?”

 Same stuff that we discuss on twitter, but responses have to be limited to 140 characters or less…….

Selfishness and Selflessness

I'm going to apologize right now for rambling. I've been avoiding this topic for months because I didn't know how to address it. This may never see the light of day, for a variety of reasons.

Just over three months ago my wife and I became foster parents. We got involved with a program called Safe Families. A voluntary program for parents in crisis, designed to give them some support and help before abuse or neglect require that the state needs to get involved. It's church based. It asks the church to be the body of Christ to step up and help those in need. The program was new to our area, and we were among the first families to apply. About three weeks after we got approved, we welcomed into our home siblings aged one and two.

Some details become important here. My wife and I are almost empty nesters. High school, college and married kids are now our life. Our house was never kid proofed. our youngest was six when we moved in. Toddlers aren't our wheelhouse.

For security reason I can't say much about our kids. They are siblings, toddlers, and all kid. Precious beyond what I could have imagined.

They've reminded me a lot about kids, but I learning a lot more about myself as this goes along.

I'm much more selfish than I knew. Many days I resent giving up the freedom that we had at our house prior to their arrival. The ability to takeoff and go is kind of gone. I now remember why we didn't attend a lot of events when our kids were little, and sitting still isn't a big skill of mine and even less for toddlers. Having to leave an event, or not attend shows me a side of me I don't care for.

I used to think I was pretty patient, but I have nowhere near the patience that a single parent needs. The amount of respect I have for someone doing this on their own is tremendous. My wife was traveling for four days recently and I got to be a single dad for that period of time. It was exhausting. Absolutely exhausting. One night of very little sleep and the I don't know that I would have been much good at work the next day. Thankfully they picked a Friday night to keep me up. Most single parents don't have that luxury. Every day is go time.

I'm the most uncomfortable when someone compliments me on what my wife and I are doing. Not every moment is filled with a full measure of Christ's love. Sometimes it's a lot of work, and I get lost in the fact that it is a lot of work. I've always thought that I was giving til it hurt, but that was giving until a tiny bit uncomfortable. So the compliments are hard to accept because my heart doesn't always feel that.

I've been asked by teens that I meet through youth group how I could care for a child that wasn't mine. Those kids were pretty easy to love. The day to day raising of them was someone else's challenge. All I usually lost was a little sleep. Loving these two is both more difficult and much deeper. I rarely deal with tantrums when working with teens, but toddlers are a different story. But nothing beats the hugs and kisses from a child. Nothing.

So why do this? That's a good question. The most obvious answer is because there's a need. It's one of the most glaring in-your-face ways of being asked to show Christ's love to those who need help. But it isn't easy.
I once asked a young lady who asked me for help,"Why did you come to me? I mean, I'm big and old and scary. Why me?"
Her answer floored me. "You don't understand, there wasn't anyone else."
Single parents without a safety net, deal with that kind of situation everyday.

Please don't make me out to be something I'm not. My wife and are are just trying to be faithful. But if you see a program called Safe Families coming to your area, Take a look.
The blessings are out of this world. Literally.

Love

In the New Testament the church leaders of Jesus' day tried to trap him by asking him what commandment was the most important. He responds with,"Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself."
He didn't say, "Love them if they are like you.", or "Love the sinner, hate the sin.", or "Call them out on their sin to prove that you love them."
Nope. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind and your neighbor as yourself."
So why this post?
This past week, everyone from all sides has been losing their minds over an interview that Phil Robertson gave to GQ magazine. You would have had to live under a rock to have missed it.
While I gave some tougue-in-chekk support to the Robertsons by saying I was going to "Let my hair and beard go all Duck Dynasty", the central gospel message of the interview, in my humble opinion. got lost.
At some point in the article, Phil Robertson says something like,:"The world would be a better place if we just all loved each other."
Love.
So often we get so caught up in the sins part of the salvation story that we chase folks away before we have a chance to be Christ's love to them.
I get the whole sin thing. I'm a sinner. But for someone who doesn't believe the same way I do, it is an instant turn off. The "speck in your eye is more troublesome than the plank in mine" makes me feel like I'm missing Christ's message to love my neighbor..

 Jesus didn't tell me to love them if they changed, he told me to love them. Period.

 When he was alive, I would like to think that Jesus hung out with people like me.
 Imperfect people.
 People who didn't fit the mold of religion at the time.
Prostitutes, tax collectors, shepherds, some long haired duck hunters and possibly even someone as unworthy of being saved as me.

A Life Lost

So they buried a friend of mine today. Not a really close friend, but we grew up in the same small town, so we were "friends". You rode the same bus, had the same teachers, and many of the same friends. The fact that she was two years older than me really didn't matter in the small school we went to. Ten kids to a class, and with grades 5-8 doing everything together, made everyone get to know each other.
She was a beautiful, talented young lady, singer, cheerleader, a person who would talk to anyone. She may have had those in her life who didn't like her, but she and I got along well.

She passed away this week because she couldn't handle her addictions.

Her addictions cost her everything in her life.

Her family, her husband, her kids, her home, and ultimately her life.

She went to sleep last Wednesday evening and never woke up.

She and I hadn't talked in maybe 10 years.

I know folks who had worked with her repeatedly to get help. Rehab numerous times, halfway houses you name it, she had every opportunity to dry out.

But she didn't. And she died.

I know what she was into the last time we talked, she didn't know I knew, it didn't matter. Those around her had decided to love her, but not enable her, and that's how I treated her.

Everyday on the internet I see people being horrible to each other. A lesbian couple gets verbally assaulted on a subway because someone had the "religious" grounds to make them feel like less than deserving of God's love.
A wonderful young lady with a big heart sees something dealing with livestock that she doesn't agree with and she flips out, bad language and all.
A company promotes a campaign that calls farmers "lazy". The young lady that calls them out on it gets hate mail.

I didn't make it to the funeral today because of some medical work I underwent last week, but I know the funeral was a gathering of people who loved that young lady. For all of the bad in her life, and there was horrible stuff, I hope she knew that folks loved her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. What if folks knew we cared about them long before they found out about the seemingly little issues that divide us.

What if our outrage was used for outrage?

And what if we loved with that kind of intensity?

That's the world I want to work for.

Gonna miss you Lauren. 
 

Starting the Conversation

I've talked to a lot of kids. A lot of kids. They are the reason that I first got on Facebook. They are a real inspiration to me. But being a kid these days is a tough deal. Much more difficult than it was when I was young. Any parent who say otherwise is not seeing the whole picture. But that's not the reason for this blog.
A good friend of mine, Ray Prock, has been watching my Facebook status and commented that there are a lot of the similairities between what I do with young people and what we do while engaging consumers  about farming.  It turns out he's very right.(It pained me to write that down;) )
So after some though, I've narrowed it down to a few points.

The best opportunities take time.

Rarely do you sit down and have a heart to heart of the first conversation. No one trusts you completely the first time they talk with you. To gain a certain level of trust is something that takes time, it's something you earn. Relationships are that way, they take time. But you need to really care about the other person, beyond just the conversation.

The best conversations came from a connection that wasn't forced.

Most of the time we just talk, share some laughs, talk about what important to them. The very first ag conversation I had with a young person was based on some youth ministry stuff that I volunteer for. Really nice young lady who I knew nothing about. For a year all I had was her first name. She was, might still be, a supporter of peta. We had some great conversations. It was an easy give and take that lasted for a year.

If they want to talk, and you can make it work, you need to make it work.

Timeliness is important, sometimes immediacy is really important, but when they want to talk, talk. A lost opportunity may be exactly that, lost. Now the things that we discuss with consumers might not be as urgent as someone struggling with cutting, depression, or suicide, but everyone wants someone to listen. If you can be that, the rewards are amazing.

Never, I repeat, NEVER, lose it.

When a young person is having a really bad day, possibly because of a bad decision, the last thing they want to hear is someone telling them they are an idiot. They are hoping to hear the voice of reason.Our consumers are wanting the same from us. The comments they make might be made to get a reaction, be careful what that reaction is.

Practice helps.

The more conversations I have, the harder it is to surprise me. It can happen, but repeated conversations lets you anticipate some of what is coming. Knowing what questions to ask and having an informal game plan in place, all make the interaction less stressful for both parties.

Sometimes it won't be a conversation.

There are times when I just need to shut up. I'm a salesman. It's my job to get people to talk. But sometimes they don't want, or don't know how to express what they are feeling. That's a reality of life. Not that an attempt shouldn't be made, but I try not get upset or frustrated if they don't respond by baring their souls. Ag conversations are the same way. We think we know the answers, or are willing to be a listening ear, but that may not be what is needed at that moment. It's a reality.

Well, that's all the wisdom I could extract. I hope it makes sense come morning.....

My Facebook Status. An Update, A Year Later

So about a year ago I mentioned the story behind my Facebook status. For those of you who haven't read it, here's the link
.http://mikesagremarks.blogspot.com/2012/01/my-facebook-status.html
Nearly a year has past since I wrote that blog, and I thought I would give everyone an update.
It's been a pretty eventful year. I had a son and a whole bunch of other kids graduate for high school. These kids had become pretty special to me. They had allowed me to walk along with them through lots of growing up stuff. They shared more of their lives with me than a dad could ever expect. Each one of them was a tremendous blessing to me.
The year held unexpected blessings.
At the top of the list was the opportunity to sit with a young lady, as she opened her heart and asked Jesus to come into her life. I've talked to kids before as they made that commitment, but this was the first time it happened with one of "my" kids. This young person is still a part of my life, and I'm so happy to see God's continued work in her life.
I've been blessed by the young people that God brought into my life in the past on how they continue to be a blessing. Graduations and new jobs,  new towns, and new challenges. A new openness to the challenges life brings, and an opportunity to see God's hand and his love at work. Tremendous personal growth that is sometimes hard to see from the inside, but so very evident to the rest of us. Twitterdad is proud.
God also saw fit to introduce me to some new kids this year. Talks have gone from boyfriends, to parents, to death/suicide and even dogs. I've been asked to pray for them, and continue to pray for them. They continually amaze me, and the big things they have to deal with are staggering. They've become an important part of my life.
 I've been called pops, big poppa, and #standindad. None of those terms are anything I deserve.
 God's work is an amazing thing to behold, and he's taking me along for the ride.